Ladles and jellyspoons, tá scéal a rá agam anocht. It's strange, and not for those with weak hearts that might seize after hearing this story. Today was a Monday, just like last Monday was also a Monday. I'll led to believe that all Mondays from now on, will be Mondays, due to the successful Peace Process following Sinn Féin's agreement to support the PSNI. So, today was Monday. The first day of a long week of tortourous school going and all the tasks that are associated with it. For example, getting up and actually bothering our arses to go to school. But that's all negative, which isn't to be the outlook of this post. Oh, no no no. Ooh-la-la, a Frenchie might say. For, today (a Monday, with thanks to Sinn Féin) I was in good humour for le plupart du temps in school. This is drop-jaw* sort of stuff my fine friends. Now is the time to restart your pace makers.
*I think a pulled a Kavanagh there, with the makey-uppy adjective. Maybe I'm just a little obsessed.
This morning I did get up, with difficulty, at exactly eight. Well, according to my clock anyway. I had me brekkie, obviously Coco Pops agus away liom. I walked down in the agreeable morning weather. 'Twas lovely, and stayed thus most of the day. Bhuail mé le Dáithí (spelling?) ag an ndroichead. If I left out the "le" there, Ms. Conway would surely laugh or something like that. Anyway, first class was Religion with, the one, the only, Holy Healy. She gave us photocopies out of her "How to Survive Marrying a Catholic" or something to that effect. It has funny pictures with silly captions. She thought that I could get the tone right for them, maybe because she thinks I have "dry wit!" I read them, or rather I laughed them. I don't know why, but I just thought they were funny. They weren't but they were in the particular moment. Y'kno the way. Everyone must have thought I had taken a turn down Loopy Lane in my old age. Especially Lee-Anne (Oh fuck, I can't remember if that's the right spelling of her name or not!!) as she mentioned it later.
The rest of the day was good. I wasn't pissed off or cranky as I usually can be. Usually I don't really want to say much during the day and this doesn't really help un-dig me out of an unfavourable mood. But, none of that mattered today! Hoo-rah. History was bleedin' funny too. A single word, "Piskov," sent us all, Ms. Atkins inc., into a short fit of the giggles. The list of attempted plots to kill Rasputin got me laughing out loud too. "The nobles didn't like Rasputin and his hockus-pockus and decided to kill him. But he used his magical powers to revive himself. They stabbed him, poisoned him, shot him, gassed him, used Mr. Power's ultra-radiation gun on him, gorged out his lungs with a spoon and then finally pulled off the deed by simply throwing the stupid bastard into a cold river." That's my slightly edited version, just to be clear. Again, we all had a good laugh (again, Atkins inc.). Brill.
Lunch was nice. Up to Bernie in Centra. Got a coffee and a Cadbury's Dairy Milk. Nothing too exciting. Back to lunch room and a chat with the locals. After lunch was boring, but hey, it's school. Nothing funny to report.
But once school ends, it's all to play for. We were down changing books from locker, and Erica pops her head in the door and shouts "Bitch!" to Lee-Anne (again, with the spelling?!). Funny, but I don't hear what else see says. But I hear what sounds like "I'll use my defibulator." But apparently that wasn't said. Oh well. It'd be cool if Erica had a defibulator. "Hey Erica, can I come over later and look at your defibulator?" Or maybe even: "Yo Eri-ceh, giz a go o' yer defib-u-yolker!" Moving on. Off we go down the corridors to extra EO'B maths. Little Dermo (IRA agent in Juno) appears behind us. We laugh and I raise my hands in the air, as I knew he had a pistol about twice the size of his head. Lee-Anne(?) asks what I'm doing. I tell her that the IRA had found out that I'd informed on them. At this stage I'm only on the brink of laughter. She says something like "Right...I'm worried about you." To which I reply that she should be because they were going to have me shot for informing. I don't think this sentence was finished before I started my fit of laughing. Then that defibulator came to mind, and I really couldn't stop. I was rightly in stitches!! Yes, that merited two factorials, ehh, I mean exclamation marks. (level 5 maybe) It all happened in about half a minute but it was the funniest moment for me in school for a good long time. Well, actually, the yearbook meeting on Friday was good too, with my "The Realm" game. That also involved me laughing my balls off.
So, that was my story of a nice school day. A true rarity. That rare descent or whatever Sylvia says of her bloody Rook. Of course, I've pondered, why was today such a cheerful day? Of all the days, surely Monday shouldn't be a good day. But, it was. Why? Only one logical reason comes to mind. What was I doing on Saturday/Sunday...? I was with me own, me darlin' (Juno) Lorna. And because she's so bleedin' deadly, my mirthful and cheery side is charged up and can actually be seen. In really long, completely ridiculous maths (big sums) questions, I do often drift off, and of her I think. Better than bleedin' integration! Integration by parts is ok, but only because you have to differentiate stuff too. Like, get dee b'dee x of x is a zed, in relation to y, flip it and get dee b'dee deeta over dee b'dee tee. That's equal to zero, coz it's a max. But anyway (or "moreover" as the culchies would say) she's the reason I guess.
Sin é. Tá tuirse orm anois. Bhuel, tá sé déanach. Ceathrú chun a haon. Táim chomh tuirseach leis an ...fear ....ehh...tuirseach. That's it really, can't be more simple. That was my day. I hope you enjoyed reading about it. It's very good. I hope you have a nice funny day every now and again too. We need them to keep us alive. I'd like to thanks Sinn Féin again for giving us back our Mondays. Respect. Slán libh.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Picture Mad!
As you can clearly see, I've gone picture mad, and put pictures to supplement my posties! Yay!
Friday, April 20, 2007
General update of recent happenings.
It's been kindly brought to my attention that I haven't posted up a post for a while. So, I suppose for the good of humanity in general I better put up a bit of type.
Since the last post, Holy Week has come and gone, and Easter Sunday has come and gone. So, I survived Lent without a dropín of coffee. Well, apart from the ONE on Ash Wednesday, but that was only because I had forgotten to start, so therefore it doesn't count. I have done nothing wrong here... Anyway, I'm reasonably proud of my meagre achievement. I kinda half cheated. I had hot chocolate as a direct substitute. Although, I didn't have even half as much hot chocolate as I would have had of coffee, so, I didn't really cheat all that much. But it was all in the name of Jay-sus anyway. But I'm back on the stuff at this stage. Bíonn cupán agam ag am lón. Not every day, but couple of days. Not today; I had Cidona. Cider is gack, but Cidona is nice.
I suppose the other BIG THING these days are the bleedin' oral exams, An Bhéaltriail agus the French shite. Tá an scrúdú cainte thart anois, buíochas le Dia! It was all very lán le bhrú for the few days. We knew they started on the Monday 16ú Aibreáin, but we weren't sure when or in what order we'd be tested. So, I went in on Monday, half expecting the exam to be that day. Ach, ní raibh sé. So, the day crawled by at snail's pace, with my stomach turning all day with the fear of being called out. Half three came and nothing. So, day one over. "It'll surely be tomorrow," I told myself. Ach, arís, ní raibh sé, in ainm Dé! Or, as we'd say it here, for fuck's sake! Another agonising day past as I sat in classes like a man awaiting execution. (I'm not trying to liken myself to Ceannt here or anyone else of the sort. Maybe the image was distasteful on second thought. Oh well.) What made the day worse was that I thought I was going to be examined during the last class, and I was preparing myself and all, so I was. "Just listen for the tenses," I thought. But then, that wasn't to be either. I had to wait until the morning. At the end of the day, I was sitting in the front hall, talking to Da on the phone, and Ms. Shovlin was talking to the examiner woman at the office door. I saw her pointing over at me and saying something. It was probably "yeah, he's one of the poor sods that are still waiting," or something to that effect, but obviously in Northern Gaeilge. I smiled and gave a little wave. So, another night had to pass before I finally went in. I was first to enter on Wednesday morning. I must say, she was very nice. She was saying "an bhfuil tú reidh?" She asked me about 38 times. I replied "táim." I went in and signed the register, as one does. She got me to read Sliocht a hAon. It went well. "Caithfear ithe. Sceallóga inniú. Is aoibhinn...." Nuair a chríochnaigh mé an píosa, I sighed a big sigh! Then, it really began. She asked me about Swords, my lovely town. I got to use a phrase I thought was nice. Deirtear go raibh Brian Ború i gcaisleáin riomh an gCogadh Cluain Tarbh. I'm not sure if that úrú is right there, but oh well, they probably put it in there in Con na Mara. God bless the Galway boys! So, it went well, I think. Níor theip mé, gan amhras. And I surely was relieved after it, like I just had a nice piss. Ahhhhhh!
The French is to come still. Teanga shit is ea é. Ceapaim go bhfuil sé an-dheacair dhá theanga a fhoglaim ag an am cheanna. But, that's ár gCoras Oideachais for ya! French is just so bloody European that it's sickening. But, we have an oral exam anyway. Apparently it's going to be a French fella doing them. So it'll all be ooh-la-la this and ooh-la-la that. There'll be plenty of queations that'll throw me right off. And he'll find all of them probably. I can speak French with a bit of a French tongue on me, like, an accent. But, we've made such fun of the French that it's now just about over exaggerating it and slagging French and the poor French race, tous les jours. Sin an-ghreannmhar uaireanta. Je suis de bonne humeur le plupart de temp. J'aime rire. It's all shite really. "The French Oral - a play in three acts." Oh oui Mr. Examiner I really think it's important that we learn a modern European language, and it's equally important that we're in the EU and follow Germany with undying loyalty. I know they really don't care what you say, but I feel like a right gimp, an dtuigeann tú? Oh well, they're only words. But I suppose dominion status are just words too. But I'm not going down that road right now.
I saw the movie "300" over the Easter holliers. I'm kinda using this as an excuse to experiment with putting up a picture, but it's all good. Scannán foreigeaneach ab ea é agus tá sé go maith.
I went with Finn and Clarke down in the new Pavo cinema. So, it was all good. And, do you see, do you see my picture?? It's not me, obviously, but I put it there!! Yer man, the Spartan King, is just about to die big time in the last stand of the remaining group of 300 Spartans. I think that's the part of the movie that this pic is from. Fuck it if it's not!
Well, that's it for another day. Slán go foill!
Since the last post, Holy Week has come and gone, and Easter Sunday has come and gone. So, I survived Lent without a dropín of coffee. Well, apart from the ONE on Ash Wednesday, but that was only because I had forgotten to start, so therefore it doesn't count. I have done nothing wrong here... Anyway, I'm reasonably proud of my meagre achievement. I kinda half cheated. I had hot chocolate as a direct substitute. Although, I didn't have even half as much hot chocolate as I would have had of coffee, so, I didn't really cheat all that much. But it was all in the name of Jay-sus anyway. But I'm back on the stuff at this stage. Bíonn cupán agam ag am lón. Not every day, but couple of days. Not today; I had Cidona. Cider is gack, but Cidona is nice.
I suppose the other BIG THING these days are the bleedin' oral exams, An Bhéaltriail agus the French shite. Tá an scrúdú cainte thart anois, buíochas le Dia! It was all very lán le bhrú for the few days. We knew they started on the Monday 16ú Aibreáin, but we weren't sure when or in what order we'd be tested. So, I went in on Monday, half expecting the exam to be that day. Ach, ní raibh sé. So, the day crawled by at snail's pace, with my stomach turning all day with the fear of being called out. Half three came and nothing. So, day one over. "It'll surely be tomorrow," I told myself. Ach, arís, ní raibh sé, in ainm Dé! Or, as we'd say it here, for fuck's sake! Another agonising day past as I sat in classes like a man awaiting execution. (I'm not trying to liken myself to Ceannt here or anyone else of the sort. Maybe the image was distasteful on second thought. Oh well.) What made the day worse was that I thought I was going to be examined during the last class, and I was preparing myself and all, so I was. "Just listen for the tenses," I thought. But then, that wasn't to be either. I had to wait until the morning. At the end of the day, I was sitting in the front hall, talking to Da on the phone, and Ms. Shovlin was talking to the examiner woman at the office door. I saw her pointing over at me and saying something. It was probably "yeah, he's one of the poor sods that are still waiting," or something to that effect, but obviously in Northern Gaeilge. I smiled and gave a little wave. So, another night had to pass before I finally went in. I was first to enter on Wednesday morning. I must say, she was very nice. She was saying "an bhfuil tú reidh?" She asked me about 38 times. I replied "táim." I went in and signed the register, as one does. She got me to read Sliocht a hAon. It went well. "Caithfear ithe. Sceallóga inniú. Is aoibhinn...." Nuair a chríochnaigh mé an píosa, I sighed a big sigh! Then, it really began. She asked me about Swords, my lovely town. I got to use a phrase I thought was nice. Deirtear go raibh Brian Ború i gcaisleáin riomh an gCogadh Cluain Tarbh. I'm not sure if that úrú is right there, but oh well, they probably put it in there in Con na Mara. God bless the Galway boys! So, it went well, I think. Níor theip mé, gan amhras. And I surely was relieved after it, like I just had a nice piss. Ahhhhhh!
The French is to come still. Teanga shit is ea é. Ceapaim go bhfuil sé an-dheacair dhá theanga a fhoglaim ag an am cheanna. But, that's ár gCoras Oideachais for ya! French is just so bloody European that it's sickening. But, we have an oral exam anyway. Apparently it's going to be a French fella doing them. So it'll all be ooh-la-la this and ooh-la-la that. There'll be plenty of queations that'll throw me right off. And he'll find all of them probably. I can speak French with a bit of a French tongue on me, like, an accent. But, we've made such fun of the French that it's now just about over exaggerating it and slagging French and the poor French race, tous les jours. Sin an-ghreannmhar uaireanta. Je suis de bonne humeur le plupart de temp. J'aime rire. It's all shite really. "The French Oral - a play in three acts." Oh oui Mr. Examiner I really think it's important that we learn a modern European language, and it's equally important that we're in the EU and follow Germany with undying loyalty. I know they really don't care what you say, but I feel like a right gimp, an dtuigeann tú? Oh well, they're only words. But I suppose dominion status are just words too. But I'm not going down that road right now.
I saw the movie "300" over the Easter holliers. I'm kinda using this as an excuse to experiment with putting up a picture, but it's all good. Scannán foreigeaneach ab ea é agus tá sé go maith.
I went with Finn and Clarke down in the new Pavo cinema. So, it was all good. And, do you see, do you see my picture?? It's not me, obviously, but I put it there!! Yer man, the Spartan King, is just about to die big time in the last stand of the remaining group of 300 Spartans. I think that's the part of the movie that this pic is from. Fuck it if it's not!
Well, that's it for another day. Slán go foill!
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