The Story of Eddie Rockets

I started this in June of this year. I now presume, that at the time, I only meant it to be a little thing. Five months and 1,500+ words later, here it is. A memoir of the Eddie Rockets days.


Eddie Rockets (a.k.a. Eddie's & to a lesser extent Edwardo's; Dave called it that.) in general is cool. But in particular, I have a certain connection with the Swords outlet. Several things contribute to this feeling of closeness to the establishment.

I think I was first in Eddie's about four years ago. Either Dave Fitzgerald or Anna O'Sullivan brought me in for a shake and chicken wings. Can't quite remember. But I thought it was cool anyway. We (not sure who the other person was, more likely to be Anna) had a milkshake drinking race. It's a difficult thing. One has to drink fast enough to win but slow enough not to torture oneself with brain freeze. So, it was a tactical thing. Eat, take a sup, munch on chicken wing, take sup etc. You get the idea. After the three or four visits in a reasonably short amount of time with Mr. Fitzgerald and Ms. O'Sullivan, I didn't venture back until...

The Night of the Junior Certificate Results 2005

Yes, this gets a heading! This was the night, the night that started off lots and lots of other night in the same fashion, but with little differences. I'm not sure (about anything these days) how we came to the decision that we'd go to Eddie's. But somebody must have thought of it. Let's just say it was either myself or Bailey or Dave. But we went there anyway. It was pretty legend. Lotsa people came with us. From memory now, (which you know isn't great) Ross Clooney, Cian Bailey, Graham Scott, Finn, Dave O'Shea, Yombo Rahman, Dan Burke and me, Liam Maloney. 'Twas grand craic, we had a good laugh so we did altogether. We were all in two booths, or whatever they call them, in on the left as you go in the door. I can't remember what time we arrived, or I can't remember what time we left. But I do remember that we saw Ms. O'Gorman walking by the window. We waved and she came in and...well, I can't remember what she was saying, but it was something nice anyway.

So, that was the first time Eddie's was used as a gathering point. Over the coming year and a half it was to be used frequently (weekly) for three young lads, although occasionally, they were accompanied by a scattering of others.

As far as I remember, there was a brief period before the Eddie's period, when the three young lads started going to Pizza Hut in the Omni Shopping Centre on Friday evenings. Others were invited along and the origins of the idea were generally unknown by the invited ones, and called into question. They got it wrong, so the founding members discarded the whole thing. Out of this need for a meeting place, of an honourable degree, the three decided on Eddie Rockets as the new sacred place of assembly. I suppose, it was a hell of a lot closer too. That was probably the main reason. Also, not having a get a bus was also a factor. Anyway, the first part is more dramatic and can be made sound cool.

So, Eddie's became the new place that myself, Finn and Dave (I mean, the three gallant fellows) went on a Friday night. Again, I can't remember when we started going there, but the main thing is that we did. It was some stage in early fifth year though, I suppose. At one stage, we went there every Friday night, for God knows how long! 'Twas great. We'd go at about half nine at night, so that we could go down through Highfields. Then, we'd leave about half eleven or twelve, and walk up the Forrest Road. Good times, good times.

One of the great things about Eddie's was the doorman. Well, there are many doormen, but one guy in particular stood out as being "the sound doorman." He got to know us to see, well, we did go in every Friday for three or four consecutive weeks. So, at the start, we'd nod to him on the way in. But as the weeks and months went on, we'd give him an enthusiastic greeting or even a wave of sorts. Or even that little salute thing that I do all the time. Eventually, we got onto such good terms with him, that he started giving me handshakes and high-fives. Strangely enough, it was just me, to the best of my knowledge. Maybe it was just that I was the first one in the door most of the time, or maybe he just thought that I was cool and that the others were a bit shit. That's to be debated. After a certain time, we stopped going to Eddie's. It was a good while afterwards that we went back for a once-off thing. But, there he was, at the door, with his Bluetooth ear yolk in. He gave us a big smile, and said that he hadn't seen us for a while! Obviously he was just talking to me, because of one of the reasons mentioned above. Then on the way out, I had a real friendly handshake. So, all I can say is fair play to The Sound Doorman.

If there was one slightly eerie thing to be connected with Eddie's, it was the traffic lights. It started one night when just Dave and myself went down. Therefore, nobody else really got it. We never really explained it, so there's the real reason. So, now is the time. During the night, any time Dave looked out across the road, the traffic lights at the Lord Mayors were orange!! Or amber or whatever they are. So, this kept happening, he would just look up and the orange would catch his eye, he'd point outside, and, it'd be orange. So there you are folks, that's the story.

Finn's gone to Russia. Grammatically speaking, there's nothing wrong with this sentence. But, of course, Finn has never been to Russia. Well, I don't know what sort of dreams he has, but not physically. We were in Eddie's one evening, just myself and Dave. Finn was in the Millbank Theatre in Rush. One the waiters came over to take our order. He recognised us for obvious reasons. He's the guy who bleached his hair once, not to our approval, but that's none of our business, really. So, he noticed that there was only the two of us. He asked where my brother was, Finn as he thought. First we set him straight about the mistaken fraternal bond and then informed him that he was in Rush. "He's in Russia?" says he. I know it's not very funny, but it was an Eddie's moment and I'm sticking by it.

"Under-the-table-banging" somehow became a frequently preformed (and frequently sore) action in Eddie's. It's not that we banged under the table. It simply meant that we hit our knee off the underside table to create a thud. I have no idea where it started, or why, for that matter. Although I may have a little idea. It was funny and regularly executed for comic effect when speaking of certain matters.

Two sayings that originated inside the premises of Mr. Rockets are "you made my laugh" and "you whacked me off." The first was a mess-up of Mr. O'Shea, obviously meaning, you're making me laugh. The second is more complex, and I'll have to think back to the evening in question. I remember Mr. Cian Bailey was present among others, if memory serves me right. We were messing on the seats and I think I was slowly nudging Finn off the side and he came in contact with the side of the table or the edge of the seat (that occasionally had screws sticking out). So he starts, "you whacked me off...". The sentence hung there, unfinished. Then, Mr. Bailey begins the sniggering and we cop on. These phrases have no meaning, but are repeated every now and again, for the laugh.

Ronan (arrange the fadas how you wish, I'm not sure), a mate of Cian, joined us a few times. Good laugh, no doubts. One of us had fries (small, shit, expensive chips) and as customers of Eddie's know, there's a pepper sort of thing on the "fries." Ronan didn't quite understand what this strange substance was, and gave it name, "sprinkly stuff," accordingly. Ya know, de sprinkly stuff! Although we know what he meant, Finn turns to him and says, in a nice demeaning tone, "eh, salt." Only the guys will know what I mean on that one!

Eddie's has bred some great characters. One such character is the Protective Father. On a raunchy evening, we were sitting about, talking about bold things, with "penis" and such words flying around repeatedly. In the next set of seats sat a father with his two children, presumably. The poor chap was trying desperately to block out our foul talk with equally frequent loud questions to his kids such as "ARE YEZ ENJOYIN' THE CHIPS, KIDS??"

To conclude, I'd like to quote the Eddie's song.

We're goin' out tonight and you know we're gonna have some fun. Eddie Rockets!

Them and those were the days of the Leaving Cert Friday nights of Eddie's. They were surely fun. All we really ever consumed were malts, the occasional Fanta, and as for Dave, well, that's another story. He had veggie burgers every now and then, and even ordered those doritos yokes, even though he hated them and complained about the price. In fairness, prices are high, but not when all you're having is a malt of a Friday evening. So, fairwell to the days of folly in Eddie's, they will forever represent youth and stupidity to a certain extent. But they were good times. Nice one. This article is long over-due and hopefully it's accurate (lads, feel free to correct me on anything). Oíche mhaith dóibh.